Understanding
by Rhiannon87
Summary: KOTOR & KOTOR II. She loves him but he loves her and she loves him and none of them know it. Revan, Malak, Exile and Kavar.


**Understanding**

"She's going to die, isn't she." It was a statement, not a question. Malak knew the answer already.

Revan nodded. "Most likely. She's been a thorn in my side for far too long, always questioning and arguing with me." The young woman shook her head, and for a moment almost looked sad. "She doesn't understand we must pay a price for victory."

Malak looked out the window of the command ship to the swirling void of hyperspace. "She would've been a valuable ally," he said. Revan shot him a look.

"Regret, Malak? I rather thought we'd moved beyond such things."

Malak almost winced at the menace in her tone. "I regret the loss of any valuable resource, Commander," he said. "But that won't stop me from sacrificing it, if need be."

His Commander smiled and turned her attention back to the datapad in her hands.

"We should catch up with the scout ships in 0200 hours," she said. Malak nodded.

"Commander… once we win at Malachor and defeat the Mandalorians, what will we do? We cannot return to the Order--"

Revan's expression darkened, and she raised her head to look at Malak. "Nor would we want to," she said coldly. "We will pursue the Mandalorians to wherever they run, even to the Unknown Regions. And once they have been wiped from the face of the galaxy, we will return to the Republic."

Malak frowned. "But how? The Order has condemned us, and this final battle will not be popular with the Republic."

Revan snorted. "As if I care what they think," she said, then glanced up at Malak. "I'll explain everything, when the time is right. Trust me."

Malak almost protested, then decided against it. "Of course, Commander," he said. Revan smiled again, then drifted towards the cluster of chairs in the center of her quarters. Malak watched her sit and continue to read her datapad. With a faint sigh, he turned and looked back out the window, staring blindly into space.

His thoughts returned to Jada. He hadn't seen her since Revan had announced that her top General would lead the ground assault, essentially sending her to death. He understood Revan's reasoning; in a war, there could be no dissent or weakness. Mercy—to the Mandalorians or their own people—would cripple them all. Out of all the Jedi who followed Revan, Jada was the only one left alive who would not change or grow. She clung to the Code and the Order and the foolish belief that she could go back to them when this was over.

Of course, perhaps it wasn't so foolish when one had a lover on the Council. Malak snarled silently. She'd been so proud of herself, thinking they'd kept it a secret. He'd known, though. She hadn't been able to completely block her emotions from him… jealousy, it seemed, was a powerful bond. Kavar had sensed the anger in his student, and maybe even knew its source. Perhaps that was why the Weaponsmaster had refused to join their fight. Or perhaps he was simply just as foolish as the rest of the Council and blindly ignored the threat to the Republic. It didn't matter now, though. When Jada had arrived, the Jedi Master had only been mentioned once. Revan asked where he was, and Jada calmly told her he had stayed with the Council. All three of them had known the calm was an act, covering up the anger and pain and betrayal seething just beneath the surface. But Revan had simply nodded, and that was the end of it. Malak clenched his jaw, relishing in his anger and jealousy. He had loved Jada, she'd loved Kavar, and she had never realized what she was doing to him.

He didn't hear Revan approaching until it was too late. He turned to face her and was slammed into the wall, an invisible hand at his throat.

"Forget her," Revan hissed. "She—is—dead--" Her outstretched hand clenched convulsively with each word, the Force choke tightening each time. Malak wondered dimly who would replace him, now that both of Revan's top lieutenants were about to die.

She released him. He dropped to his knees, gasping for air.

"She is dead," Revan repeated. "There is no one else now, Malak. Only me."

He looked up at her, a hand still at his throat, understanding at last…

Jada loved Kavar. He loved Jada. And Revan loved him… and he'd never realized what he had done to her.


End file.
